I saw you yesterday…

I saw you yesterday, god it was good to know you are still alive.

I saw you the first time twenty years ago, i think I was five.

This phrase sums it all. Yesterday, after 8 years, more maybe, I saw you again. Dam, I was happy for you. You went to university, have a good life and friends… You grow up, have a womens face now, I almost didn’t recognize you… But then I saw that look that you used to have. That look was all needed to recognize you. That precious look in your eyes that took me for the first time. Dam, just to imagine that we could be together a few years ago, all I had to do was to be a real men… But I was a kid back then. And I hope you can apologize me… I really needed to see you, I needed to take this rock over my conscience... Is good to know that your life is good and everything is going well and that you are living the life you wanted. I can remove you from my mind now. In peace with my self.

I was afraid that something happened to you, because the last time I saw you, you weren’t well, and your life was falling apart. I feared that something wrong happened to you.

I hope I can left my “STANDSTILL” phase now. I hope I can fall in love again…

Time goes by.

Time goes by, but I am still here. It’s strange to live without the people that I learned to love. I will be here, bored, sad, uneasy, waiting for dead… There are so much thing that I want to say but I cant, so much thing I want to do but I shouldn’t … Love is a empty word, the only thing that I know is sadness, pain and disappointment. I try to be happy, I am happy… But lately I think a lot about my life, the people I lost. I want my grandmother back, alive. It hurts so much to think that I will never see her again.

Time goes by, but I am still here… Waiting … For dead? Happiness? Or the lie called love? Meanwhile I will have to think positive… My dead is near, and all this suffering, all this loneliness will end soon… Is all I can can hope for.

Time goes by, but I am still here… But not for long…